Breaking Diet Mentality Thought Patterns and Behaviors
If you’ve ever said to yourself “I know what to do, I just can’t do it” in your eating disorder recovery or attempts to practice more intuitive eating, then you’ll want to read this post on breaking diet mentality thought patterns and behaviors.
If I had a quarter for every time I’ve heard a client exasperatedly say “I know what to do, I just can’t seem to do it,” I wouldn’t be rich, but I would definitely have enough for a fun little shopping trip.
There’s a wealth of information out there about eating disorder recovery, body image, Health at Every Size®, and intuitive eating. I’m sure a lot of that information has connected with you. You’ve probably read tips, tools, and strategies where you’ve thought, “hey, that’s a good idea! I want to try that!”
And yet, when it comes time to break the diet mentality thought pattern or behavior, it feels like you’re stuck in a cycle repeating the thoughts and behaviors you’re trying to change. You know what to do, but you just can’t do it. How frustrating! Understanding the concepts behind intuitive eating and Health at Every Size is one thing. Actually engaging with them is another.
There are many reasons you might struggle to change, despite having a clear idea of what you are trying to do differently. You might lack the resources or skills to make the change. You might be in a state where your nervous system is dysregulated (i.e. fight/flight) and you don’t have the capacity to do something different. Or maybe what you think you should be doing actually isn’t helpful, and your intuition or a protective part is kicking in. Note, none of those reasons are you being a worthless human being or generally sucking at life, despite what your brain tells you when you’re feeling stuck.
This frustration is such a common source of shame, so I wanted to share an analogy I use with my clients to help normalize why this stuff can feel so hard. I call this the path in the woods…
Why Breaking Diet Mentality Thought Patterns and Behaviors is So Hard
Think of diet mentality and all the behaviors it produces as a well worn trail through the woods. It’s been walked on consistently for years (decades!) so the soil is patted down and solid. There’s no branches or brush blocking your way, so it’s a really easy and comfortable path to take. If some of your thoughts or behaviors with food and body image feel almost reflexive, that’s why. Your brain circuitry has traveled this pathway thousands of times before, through the years of dieting, restriction, and critical self talk.
When you try to break old thought patterns, as you do when you try to heal from chronic dieting and disordered eating, you’re metaphorically going off the beaten path. Think of it as forging a new path through the woods, dodging branches, tripping over roots, and stomping down the loose, leaf covered soil. You may or may not have a sense of where the path you’re leading is taking you. As you can imagine, it’s much scarier and uncertain than the nice, cozy, predictable path you used to take. Of course, there’s a reason you’re forging a new path. You know where that old path takes you, either right back to where you started - or straight off a cliff!
I hope this analogy helps you see why when you’re trying to change a behavior or challenge a thought pattern while in a state of heightened stress it’s especially hard to do. Think about how hard it would be to choose to battle branches and trip over rocks when you’re already in fight or flight. It also makes sense why planning and external reminders can be so helpful, because unless you’re really intentional about what you’re trying to do, it’s easy to forget and slip back into the cozy old pattern.
But the cool thing is that each time you take new path through the woods, it becomes easier to travel. With time, the new path will look like the old path, cozy and well traveled, while the old path will get covered up with fallen leaves and overgrown brush, as it falls into disuse.
This analogy explains the concept of neuroplasticity, or the brains ability to adapt, change, and build new connections over time as you learn and continue to expose yourself to different thought patterns and behaviors. Basically, that neuronal circuit that causes you to almost instinctually skip your afternoon snack, or jump to critical self talk when you look in the mirror, or to numb your feelings with snack foods - that’s the well worn brain pathway. The more you practice dong something different, like eating your afternoon snack and actually following through, or practicing affirmations when you look in the mirror, or using a different coping skill instead of numbing with food, the easier it becomes.
If you’re feeling stuck in a cycle of shame as you repeat the same patterns, I hope this gives you a little hope and understanding about why this healing process is such a long and hard one, and why knowing something cognitively isn’t the same as being able to follow through with it. Hang in there! Whenever you’re feeling trapped in diet mentality, just imagine yourself in the woods, with a Swiss army knife in hand, cutting down a branch to help make a clear path. You’ve got this!
If you’re looking for support through this healing process, we work with clients throughout the US and would be happy to be on your team. Read more about out practice philosophy and services, and just reach out if you’d like to see if we’re a good fit to work together.
If this post on breaking diet mentality thoughts and behaviors was helpful, you might also like:
Food Police or Nutrition Ally?
How to Reframe Diet Mentality Thoughts
How Long Until I Become an Intuitive Eater?
