Understanding the Honeymoon Period in Intuitive Eating — Registered Dietitian Columbia SC

The honeymoon period in intuitive eating is a very normal phase to experience when you are first making peace with food. This post discusses why the honeymoon period is an important phase to go through, and what skills to be working on when you are in the phase.

A couple years ago when I was at Clemson for a football game (which we won, because, ya know 💁🏻‍♀️), I ran into a few sorority sisters I hadn’t seen in years, but keep up with through social media. As we were catching up with what everyone was doing in life, the conversation turned to me and my job - the combination of being professionally active on social media and the fact that people love to talk about food means this happens pretty frequently.

My old friends were incredibly kind and complimentary of the work I do, sharing how much they had learned from following me on instagram. I won’t lie - I was definitely getting a little ego boost! But then one of them made a comment along the lines of, “you know, I was telling my husband about you the other day, and how I’d love to start intuitive eating, but I’m pretty sure my intuition would just tell me to eat ice cream all day!”

Suddenly, the conversation shifted to a version of that old Amy Schumer “I’m So Bad” skit, and they all went around joking about all the “bad” foods their body would intuitively tell them to binge on.

“My intuition would have me eating pizza for dinner every night!”

“Oh my goodness, my intuition would be to go eat a whole bag chips in front of the TV!”

“Well my intuition says cookies are an appropriate breakfast!”

Womp womp.

Sometimes conversations about intuitive eating are really hard to have at social gatherings, because there is a lot of educating and clearing up misconceptions, which is kinda hard to do when your brain isn’t on work mode. What I wish I could have done was help them understand the honeymoon period in intuitive eating, and explain why it’s certainly possible their intuition would have them eating more pizza for dinner or cookies for breakfast, but that if so, it would be part of a very normal, and very important part of the intuitive eating process. But instead I awkwardly laughed because we’re all human beings here which means saying the wrong thing then ruminating about it for the next 24 hours! And because I’m clearly still thinking about this interaction 2-3 years later, now I’m writing a post about it!

What is the Honeymoon Period in Intuitive Eating

In the story I told, my friends were joking around. However, their joke belied a very real fear of new intuitive eaters - that they’ll get totally “out of control” with foods that used to be off limits. What’s challenging about confronting that fear is that it’s somewhat based in reality, with something we like to call the “honeymoon period” in intuitive eating.

Regardless of whether you are on a formal diet plan or just trying to “eat better”, if you’re trying to lose or manage your weight, there is restriction. That restriction can range from eliminating specific food groups or foods, limiting them to a certain amount (dictated by calories, grams or points), only allowing them under certain circumstances (like social gatherings), or still eating the foods but guilting yourself every time you do. This restriction turns these foods into forbidden fruit, and when you finally do eat the food, there’s an underlying fear that it may be the last time - hence the “last supper” eating that occurs. This kind of eating reinforces the idea that you need external dieting rules to “control” what or how much you eat - although these dieting rules just give the aura of control. In reality, the food controls you.

When you decide to give yourself permission to eat the foods you love, it’s very normal to go through a “honeymoon period” in intuitive eating, where those previously off-limits foods feel exciting and new. You’ll very likely eat a larger quantity of them than normal, possibly even an amount that seems objectively excessive. A lot of the honeymoon eating stems from the novelty of having the foods you enjoy. Much of it can also stem from giving yourself physical permission to eat the foods you love, but not the emotional permission (for more on the difference between physical and emotional permission, read this post). And some of it is the simple fact that when you restrict foods, it doesn’t give you a chance to learn how to eat them in a competent way.

To explain the honeymoon period in intuitive eating, I like to do a simple activity using a straw. If you’ve got one nearby, feel free to grab it!

Put the straw in your mouth and breathe through it for a couple minutes, ideally while also walking around the house or up the stairs (carefully!) to get your heart rate up a bit. Now, remove the straw and try to breathe normally. For a few seconds there, you'll need deep breaths to reoxygenate, but after a little bit of time, your body catches up and you can breathe normally.

The same thing happens when you stop restricting food. Remember that just like oxygen, food is a basic human need. Remove the dieting rules (aka the straw), and you'll "gasp," which in food terms, may equate to a lot more potato chips and ice cream than “normal.” But just like the deep breaths of air might look like more than normal breathing, the gasping is needed to catch up on what you missed out on before, and it’s the same thing with food.

Why Do We Go Through a Honeymoon Period in Intuitive Eating?

I like to think of the honeymoon period in intuitive eating as a trust building phase. Basically, it’s a time for you to learn how to give yourself full permission with food, and to truly believe that the food you love will always be there in the future. It can feel really scary, because let’s face it, there’s still lingering anxieties about eating those foods and how it might affect your body size or shape - we are human beings living in a world with pretty messed up beliefs about bodies after all. But the honeymoon period is also incredibly important for healing your relationship with food.

The honeymoon period also gives you a chance to take those previously off-limits foods off their pedestal. Restricting foods can make them feel much more special than they actually are. After restricting a food, let’s say pizza for example, the first time you eat it, the pizza won’t just be pizza - it’ll be PIZZA!!!! But after having it more regularly, it will just be pizza. You may even get bored of it, which can be really empowering, and provides evidence against the fear that you’ll just eat pizza for the rest of your life.

How Long Does the Honeymoon Period in Intuitive Eating Last

The honeymoon period in intuitive eating will look differently for different people. For someone who enters intuitive eating a malnourished or nutritionally deprived state, or someone who has experienced significant dieting and body trauma, it may last for quite some time. For others, the honeymoon period may be rather brief.

Try not to judge how long you’re in the honeymoon period. I often hear from people wondering how they can get out of the honeymoon period - but intentionally trying to get out of the honeymoon period is really just another form of restriction. It’s one of those things where you’ve got to just trust the process and know that it will pass.

What to do When You’re in the Honeymoon Period

That said, the honeymoon period in intuitive eating is a phase. While you don’t want to rush it, there are some things you may be doing that are keeping you stalled out there.

The first is allowing yourself to eat the previously off-limits foods (giving yourself physical permission), but guilting yourself whenever you do (not giving yourself emotional permission). When the food police are screaming at you every time you eat something, it’s hard to trust that the food will always be there in the future. The honeymoon period is a time to challenge the food police, to not just eat the foods you love but also to unlearn diet cultures beliefs about those foods.

The other thing I see that can keep you trapped in the honeymoon period is eating on autopilot. That’s not to say you need to be eating 100% mindfully all of the time - normal eating means sometimes eating with distractions! But when you’re consistently checking out with food, it’s hard to learn the lessons and skills you’re supposed to be gaining when you’re in the honeymoon period.

At the end of the day, while the honeymoon period in intuitive eating may feel uncomfortable, it’s also an important part in your journey to making peace with food. What would it be like to not treat it as something to be afraid of, but a time to get curious?

If you found this blog post on the honeymoon period in intuitive eating helpful, follow my intuitive eating Pinterest board for more inspiration.

This post on understanding the honeymoon period in intuitive eating was originally published October 2016. It is been updated to give you the best content possible.

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